kaffeekletch

It’s Things Like This That Threaten My Mental Health

pckletchka

October 31, 2009

So, I have this question that is absolutely killing me. And I need to ask it because I really do want an answer, even though I know I won’t get one that satisfies me. Of course, I don’t mean any offense to anyone here, even though it will probably sound like I do…

Over this past summer, I kept putting off major yard work because I would look at the weather forecast and rain would be predicted. Sometimes, this would happen for days in a row. Something else would get put on the schedule in anticipation of said rain, but that rain never seemed to materialize when it was forecast. The daytime hours would be filled with heavy clouds with absolutely no rain. It might move in at 10 in the evening that same day, but I swear it never, ever happened when the forecast said it would. So my yard work would go undone.

Today, I have a metric crap ton of leaves in my yard that I need to move, mulch, or otherwise get rid of, so despite the forecast of “rain starting around noon,” I went out and got started. You see this coming, right? At noon, as I stood there with my leaf blower, clearing the six-inch thick carpet of yellow away from my two giant maple trees (I’ve already done one round of this), the sky opened up and the rain began to pour down.

Why is it that today, of all days, the forecast was spot on?

Really. I want to know…

A Letter to the MRI Community

pckletchka

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September 9, 2009

It is not without a great deal of consideration and reflection that I am resigning from the position of systems administrator at MRI. My last day here will be Friday, October 2, 2009. I have accepted a position with the office of Security Operations and Services (SOS) within Penn State ITS, where the scope of my work will encompass the entire University community – a move that will certainly be challenging. However, I feel that it is a good move that will be beneficial to me and also to my family.

This is not a decision that I have taken lightly. Since arriving at MRI in 2005, the people here have come to be a second family to me, and that has made this decision all the more difficult to make. There are three members of the MRI family to whom I owe an enormous debt of gratitude: Dr. Susan Trolier-McKinstry, who first brought me to MRI as her staff assistant; Dan Lehman, who hired me as part of our fantastic IT team; and Bob Cornwall, who trusted me to expand my role on the IT team and administer MRI’s networks and systems. Without these three people, I would never have known of the MRI community, never developed the working relationships here that have so enriched my life, and I would not be in a position to again move forward in my career.

While I will miss working closely with all of you at MRI, my new job will not completely keep me out-of-touch with you. At SOS, it will not be uncommon for me to be in contact with the IT team here, and whenever I have the opportunity to participate in security presentations involving MRI, I will most certainly jump at the chance. I will watch with great interest as MRI moves into the Millennium Science Complex, and will still feel a great sense of pride when I learn of new research coming out of MRI’s labs.

Ironically, I will celebrate my fourth MRI anniversary on September 29th. The four years that I have spent here have been some of the best of my life. Thank you all for being part of it…

With best wishes to you all,
Paul Carlisle Kletchka

Perfection

pckletchka

3 comments

August 3, 2009

Now, I will be the first person to admit that I’ve been a bit emotional, lately — and that’s an entirely different story. But I do believe that this may have been the perfect summer evening.

We started our excursion by heading to Port Matilda to see our friends Beth and Jamie. Beth is recovering from recent surgery and, by all appearances, is doing very well. That in itself is good reason to be happy, but we had an absolutely lovely time talking, and the Monkey hammed it up for everyone’s enjoyment. I also must say that I think Beth and Jamie are two of the kindest people we have met here, which makes me thankful for the wonder of twitter, without which we might have never met them. Jamie gave us a tour of his incredible garden and showed us plants that I’ve never even heard of, let alone seen before. It would have been nice if they could have accompanied us on the next leg of our journey, but that would have been a bit much for Beth this soon after her surgery.

The Monkey knew exactly where we were headed as we left Beth and Jamie’s house — “the pink restaurant,” or El Campesino, if you want to go by an actual name. And while I think there’s a rather large contingent of folks in State College who wish they’d open up a location here, the drive to Altoona is no longer a huge barrier, so we can go and enjoy real Mexican food whenever we have just a little extra time to do so. It was, of course, delicious. And though I was tempted to literally lick my plate clean, I didn’t want to embarrass my family in front of strangers.

But the absolute best part of the evening was the drive home. Perhaps it was partially the coincidence of The Weepies’ All This Beauty playing as we drove that particular portion of Interstate 99, but right around the Blair/Centre county border, I looked out over the forest-laden, rippling remnants of mountains that were once higher than the Himalayas, and found myself again thinking that I live in one of the most beautiful places on this planet. A few weeks ago, while making the same drive, I commented to a friend that from that spot, if you stop and look all around you, you can see more trees from that very viewpoint than you would find in the entire state of Kansas, where I grew up. And while Kansas has a beauty all its own, I have always found myself drawn to the solid grandeur of trees. So tonight, as the sun began to set beyond those mountains, and the humid haze from the recent rains gave even greater depth to the distances between them, I swore that I could feel the breathing of the leaves as they cleansed the air around that mountain road. I was reminded of my grandfather, the man who taught me to appreciate nature, and the way I could feel his excitement at seeing a particularly gorgeous landscape. So as the music played and my beautiful wife and child sang along with it, I thought, “Not too bad for a couple of Kansas boys. Eh, Papa?” And in that moment, I once again felt the warmth of his smile.

It was, indeed, the perfect summer evening…

The Meme Has Legs!

pckletchka

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July 25, 2009

And it’s still kicking my friends…

So in the world of mash-ups, two wrongs apparently make a right for me. Because I can’t stand Rick Astley or Nirvana, but this little number had me grinning from ear to ear.

It’s the Truth

pckletchka

1 comment

February 25, 2009

I have tried to come up with a nice way to say this, but since it gets me riled up about once a week and tonight was my weekly dose, it’s just going to come out the way it does…

If you are too damned lazy to put your shopping cart in the corral or take it back in to the store, you are an asshole. Putting two wheels of it over a curb doesn’t cut it, either, you lazy slob.

I once saw a cart moved by the wind out of a parking lot into a street, where it collided with a car and destroyed a quarter-panel. All because some lazy asshole couldn’t put it in the corral.

Thank you. I’m done, now…

When Good News is Also a Bit of Bad News, or My Way of Saying "I’m Sorry"

pckletchka

1 comment

February 23, 2009

So yes, I’ve neglected my blog for some time now…

OK. I haven’t just neglected the blog. I’ve neglected friends, family, pets, and even myself for a few months. The one thing I haven’t neglected is my job. And since I normally feel that I do a pretty decent job of balancing things out, I’m feeling awfully guilty right about now. But please keep reading, because I do have a pretty good reason for all of this. Really.

Last fall, two of the five members of the IT team of which I’m part announced that they had accepted new jobs and would be leaving us. The first to announce this was our manager. Ouch. And with the far-too-common shrinking budget of our department, it was decided that position would be eliminated. Double ouch. Next up to make the announcement was our systems administrator. Thankfully, that position wasn’t cut, and we began a search for her replacement. To make a long story short, the search did not go well, and after the end of November our team was down to three people, with the database specialist and me (the support specialist) covering the sysadmin duties on top of our own for the duration of the search.

Thankfully, December is a short month for universities, because our search yielded only one person we were interested in hiring, and he turned down the job because he didn’t want to relocate his family (my anger on that is a different story). So I started my holiday break with great uncertainty and a close eye on our systems, which had to remain running while I was technically “off.” By the time we officially returned to work in January and I could see there weren’t many viable candidates applying for the job, I wondered just what we’d do. And after one more fruitless interview, I think our team and the department’s managing director became rather despondent about our chances of finding someone we’d want to hire. The job had been posted for over two months and new applications just weren’t coming in.

I hadn’t applied for the sysadmin position because I didn’t really feel that I was qualified for it. By the beginning of January, I was starting to think that having worked closely with the previous two people in that position and essentially doing the job for over a month made me better qualified than most of the people who did apply for it. I talked with our database specialist, and he agreed that we’d probably have better luck finding a qualified support specialist than we had in finding a sysadmin, and between the two of us we could maintain our systems and even begin to move forward on new projects again. Lo and behold, it turns out the managing director was thinking the very same thing. And so, one day after the president of our university announced that there would be no pay raises this year, I was given a promotion and, consequently, a pay raise. And it was even a good pay raise, to boot! Now we just had to find a new support person…

So, I was getting paid for my new job, which is great, but still needed to perform both my new job and my old job until MY replacement could be hired. Meaning I would continue to run myself ragged until a new person starts, but I’d be better paid. Thankfully, we were all correct in our predictions about finding a support person, because that search took less than a month. And on March 2nd, I’ll be back to having just one job. I know that it will take a bit for our new person to get acquainted with the way we do things, but I’m at least seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The upshot of all this is that I’ve had virtually no free time. During the regular work day, I mostly do my old job and monitor systems as I can, and in the evenings I take care of the new job — sometimes from home and sometimes back at the office. So, not only has there been no time to blog, but my number of tweets has dropped considerably, I rarely get a chance to look at Facebook, and actually spending time with real people has been nearly impossible. I managed to re-connect with some old friends around the holidays, but haven’t had the opportunity to properly write to them as I wanted. I finally decided today that I would declare Google Reader bankruptcy and mark all of my feeds read in order to start anew. Heck, I haven’t even had time to participate in the “25 Things” meme!

Now, let me say that I am not looking for sympathy. I can’t begin to say how fortunate I feel just to have a secure job right now, let alone to have been promoted. When I found this little bit of time to write a post, I wanted to use it to explain why I’ve been so absent in my usual communications with people, and to say to all of you that I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. I hope that in the next few weeks, I’ll be back to my usual social networking junkie self, and I might even be able to get together with friends on a week night! In the meantime, please don’t feel that I’m slighting you or, even worse, forgot about you. I’m not, I haven’t, and I really hope to do better very soon.

Just That Kind of Day

pckletchka

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December 21, 2008

The past few weeks have been pretty nuts. With 40 percent of our team gone, work has been trying to say the least. With the holiday season and a 10-day trip to visit family in the Midwest, home life has been a bit scattered. Thursday afternoon, it all seemed to culminate in one of those days that defies explanation, that is so utterly over-the-top you must laugh at the absurdity of it or be knocked cold off your feet and kept down for far longer than a 10 count.

To a degree, I expected it. I had an appointment to give blood at 3:30. Call it Murphy’s Law, call it the universe’s cruel joke, call it what you will, but I always know that if I have planned something that requires me to be out of the office, things will go wrong – usually very wrong. So I will often try to plan my day in such a way that I can avoid the obvious pitfalls. That tactic was working on Thursday and I was feeling pretty good about myself. And that was probably my big mistake…

I had a computer to deliver to our other building, so I planned to do it right before my appointment, as the bloodmobile was just across the street from there. My lunch was a little later than I’d hoped, but at least I was able to eat all of it. And a very nice person brought me chocolate-covered peanut brittle earlier in the day. I thought it would be a nice finish to my lunch right before I headed out the door, so I decided to eat a piece. I think that one piece turned out to be 7. I also think the person who made that stuff must have used crack as an ingredient. Anyway, stuffed full of yummy addictive candy goodness, I went to my car with the computer and headed out to the other building. I made my delivery, took care of a couple other issues, then headed across the street to give blood.

Despite the fact that my appointment was in the last time slot and things were obviously winding down at the bloodmobile, I was strangely energized when I entered the room. I read the donor info packet, sat down, and waited for my interview. When I was called, I headed over to the screened-off tables with a little extra spring in my step. The nurse took my pulse and my temperature. To my horror, she told me the pulse was 102 (usually 70-80) and my temp was 99 degrees (usually 97). OK, so I’d been running around in the other building while wearing my coat – that had to be it. She said we’d go through the rest of the interview and check again after we were done. Then my blood pressure was high – well, high for me. Not high enough to cause concern, though. Then it was time to prick my finger for the iron test. When she squeezed my finger after pricking it, blood came out like a little, tiny fountain – so fast that I think a drop or two fell on the floor. I joked that they could just milk my finger for the pint of blood instead of putting a needle in my arm.

So, at the end of the interview, she took my pulse again. It was 100. I was again horrified, but apparently 100 is the highest your pulse can be for the Red Cross to allow you to give blood. I expressed my concern and the nurse asked me if I was under stress. Well, yes, but I didn’t think it was THAT bad. Then she asked if I’d eaten anything recently. Well, I had some… chocolate… covered… peanut brittle… DOH! How much? Oh, only 7 freakin’ pieces of it. Um, yeah. Can you say sugar high?

So, I gave my blood – laying on the table next to my boss’s boss, while I quipped that it was really his fault my pulse was so high and he told me about his computer woes. Good times. Next was my drink and snack, then I left. On the way back to my building, I stopped to check out another department’s holiday party. I have friends who work there, I’m not just a sugar junkie. Nevertheless, I was presented with two of the most delectable cupcakes ever made before scurrying back to my office. And that was when things really started to go downhill…

It was about time to leave for the day, so I flitted around my office, turning off computers and equipment, made one last check of my e-mail before logging off of my computer, and started to pack my stuff up to go home. The phone rang. When I answered, it was a faculty member that I’m quite fond of. She’s always busy and Thursday was no exception, as she was just getting around to resolving a problem we’d discussed the day before. But it wasn’t working out the way it should. I had to run down to her office to take care of it, and when we were done I looked at my watch. 5:10, and I needed to go and pick up the kiddo. And now, having tanked up on fluids for the blood donation, I had to make a stop at the restroom. When I flew back in to my office, the phone rang. I figured it was Lovey, wondering what was going on and if she needed to pick up the little one, so I answered without first looking at the caller ID. Nope, it was the faculty member again. New problem. Network problem. And as I tried to figure it out, it magically resolved itself. So I hung up, maniacally grabbed my stuff and ran out of the building. I got in my car and headed toward the day care center. It was 5:20, and I was so late I was getting flustered.

As with every other place on campus, parking at the day care center is in short supply and high demand. I saw one last spot open and headed for it. As I began to pull in to it, I was shocked to see a baby’s car seat right there on the pavement in front of me. I stopped, peered at it, and realizing that there was no one in it, began to slowly pull ahead. *HONK* I stopped again, looked around, and seeing nothing, started to pull forward. *HONK HONK* WTF was that? *HONK HONK HONK HONK* Fine! I won’t park here! So I backed out of the spot, pounced on another one, and got out of the car ready to yell at some chowderhead for thinking they could save a parking space with a goddamned car seat. But as I walked toward that space, I watched as a car smacked right into the car seat. Obviously, safety was not that person’s goal, so I decided my policy of “choosing my battles carefully” dictated that this was one to forfeit and I headed for the door of the day care.

One of the things I really like about our day care center is that the door is locked from the outside. To get in, whoever is sitting at the reception desk must press a button to open the door. There’s also a card swipe you can use if you’re “on the list,” but it’s very rare that anyone has to use the card swipe, because there’s always someone at the desk. When I got to the door on Thursday, the usual person wasn’t sitting there, but I knew the person who was there would recognize me. She looked right at me, but didn’t open the door. Then I noticed that there was a child’s parent in the entryway – between the first and second doors. She was waving at the keeper of the button, who looked right at her but still didn’t open the door. I did a little back-and-forth movement to try and get her attention, and she again looked straight at me then TOOK OFF HER FUCKING GLASSES AND BEGAN RUBBING HER TEMPLES. I yanked my billfold out of my pocket, jerked my ID out of its holder, slammed it through the cardswipe, then stomped my way in once the door had opened. The other parent thanked me with a tone of “what the hell just happened here?” as we both gave a questioning glare to the person at the desk. No “oops,” no “sorry,” not even a “kiss my ass” was uttered by her.

By now, it was nearly 5:30. I half walked-half ran down to my daughter’s classroom, steaming over just how late I was. I walked in to the classroom, looked at my darling little munchkin, and said, “Hi! Let’s go home and see Mama!” to which she responded, with a rather thoughtful look on her face, “No.” She flat-out refused to put her sweater on, and getting the coat on her was like trying to dress an octopus with restless leg syndrome who repeatedly yells at you, “I just don’t want to put my coat on!” with a few giggles thrown in for good measure. I finally got her bundled up and we made our way to the front door. Still not a peep from the keeper of the button, but I had to keep my expletives shoved way down inside to protect the children.

By the time I convinced my child to sit in her car seat, I had to pee again. Jeebus! My bladder’s bigger than Rhode Island, how much fucking water did I drink? So I drove home as quickly as I safely could. Once there, I was informed upon trying to get the Monkey out of her car seat that “I just want Mama to do it.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Roseanne Barr saying “This is why some animals eat their young,” and that was when my better nature won out and I started to laugh at what I’d been through. All of those little things had nickled and dimed my patience to near bankruptcy, but I’m so glad that I could step back for just a moment and see the rather Abbot & Costello-esque humor in it all and have a good chuckle at my own misfortune. If that’s the worst day I have this month, I should consider myself fortunate…

Six Squared

pckletchka

5 comments

December 1, 2008

36 has always been one of my favorite numbers. Admit it, you have favorite numbers, too. I’m not that much of a freak. But I hadn’t really given a good deal of thought to turning 36 years old until it was practically on top of me. And to be quite honest, it’s more than a little difficult for me to believe that I’m really 36 today.

I’m not sure what 36 is supposed to feel like, but I don’t think I’m feeling it. The realization that I’m twice as old as an 18-year-old got me started on this idea. 18 doesn’t seem that far away. In fact, I remember it quite well. It took forever to get to 18, but the next 18 years went by in a flash. No, I’m not quite as agile as I was at 18. Yes, my waistline has expanded a bit from when I was 18. And yes, there are a few grey hairs appearing on my head now. But when I look in the mirror, the face I see doesn’t look 18 years older than the one I saw back then. And I don’t think I’m alone on that – I was actually carded when I entered a restaurant tonight. The rest of my party? Not so much. Maybe the guy was just being nice to the old fart and it’s gone to my head.

Here’s the thing that just kills me, though: I was 18 when I met my wife. I’ve known my wife for half of my life. She’ll have no sympathy for me on this, since she was 17 (albeit a couple of days from 18) when we met and thus pondered this kind of thought more than a year ago. But I have to say, she doesn’t look 18 years older than the day I met her. Sure, we’ve both matured. We’ve been married for over 13 years now. We have a kid. We’ve moved more times than I care to remember. But 18 years? No, I simply refuse to believe that it’s been that long.

It’s not that I think 36 is old. Even at 18, I didn’t think 36 was particularly old. But people who were 36 were real adults back then. And despite all that I’ve been through in my life to indicate the contrary, it’s still hard to think of myself as one of those real adults. And therein, I suppose, lies the key to my little age conundrum. My 18-year-old self’s real adults are now 54.

So when does the perception change? I suppose I should be thankful that I still feel young, and I am, but this problem of perception cuts in both directions. I was certainly reminded of that during a conversation I had with my grandma not long before the election. We were comparing the merits of both McCain and Obama when she said, “but you know, Obama is so young.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Obama’s age (48, I believe) had never crossed my mind. On the other hand, I had serious concerns about McCain’s age (72). Suffice it to say that Grandma’s age is closer to the latter candidate’s. And when I try to put myself in her shoes, I suppose I can’t find fault in her thought process.

And I guess what I should take from all of this is not only the old cliche of “you’re only as old as you feel,” but also that you’re precisely as old as others see you. I imagine that an 18-year-old does think that I’m a real adult, but those 54-year-old folks still think I’m a bit green. So the onus is on me to work those perceptions to my advantage, managing to feel young while remembering that I am, indeed, a capable and responsible adult.

But it’s still ok if you want to card me, restaurant guy…

Sorry, Lovey – It’s My Turn

pckletchka

1 comment

October 18, 2008

Whenever we get a really cute picture of the monkey from day care, I dutifully extract it from the document it’s in, re-size it, and send it to Lovey for posting on her blog. Not today.

Why?

BECAUSE THIS IS THE CUTEST FREAKIN’ PHOTO EVER TAKEN!

Sorry, Lovey. I couldn’t resist this one. Good lord, I love that child…

The Old Office is New Again

pckletchka

2 comments

October 13, 2008

Last week was the first one back in my regular office after it underwent a much-needed and much-appreciated face-lift. I’ve yet to move everything back in, which meant it was the perfect time to take pictures. That way, I can remember how lovely it was before I junked it all up again. Seriously, though – it’s so nice now that I will have to make sure to take the time and keep it orderly. If you never saw it prior to the remodeling, these pictures won’t mean a whole lot to you (and I of course forgot to snap a set of “before” shots). But for those of you who remember what it looked like, you may not even recognize it as the same office.

The entire set of photos is posted on Flickr, along with comments that will likely bore you to tears. I’m excited, though, and had to share. I also want to say that Charlie, the staff member who re-did the room, does fantastic work and I’m forever indebted to him for taking great care in making my office not only look great, but also for making it a much more functional space. If you’re in the area, you should stop by and see it, along with the rather large smile on my face when I’m in it.