I’ve always been good with animals — from small rodents up to large farm animals. But truly, I am the Cat Whisperer…
Just tonight, our cat, June, was making a fuss and being generally unpleasant by wandering around the house and meowing with her wallpaper-peeling pay attention to me noise. As I walked by, I picked her up, securely held her legs so she could not claw or get away, placed my lips next to her ear, and lovingly whispered…
“I’m going to kill you. Slowly and painfully…”
As I moved her away from my face, our eyes momentarily met and mine shot lasers at her. Frickin’ LASERS. She let out a small yelp, lept from my arms, and ran to the basement. She’s been a little lamb for the rest of the evening.
(Of course, I would never hurt our cat. Nor do I condone hurting cats. It’s humor, folks — dark humor. And if you didn’t find it funny, please move along.)
kaffeekletch 