Monkey-isms (5)

This morning, as I nervously corralled the Monkey in a room where she couldn't be seen by the Inside Edition crew filming in our street, waiting for them to leave so I could take her to school without fearing that her visage would be used in a story about our now infamous next-door neighbor, she gently held her hand out to me and said, "Daddy, I think you should wear this today." There, on the end of her index finger, was this little sticker...

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I can't even begin to say how much I love that child...

Beatitude

Tonight I stood in my yard and swayed as my little boy fell asleep in my arms. Bats danced in delicately choppy flight above our heads, occasionally swooping down to feast. In the distance, I could hear the giggles of my wife and daughter amidst a serenade of crickets, frogs, and cicadas in the sunset.

One day, I will be old and tired. And I will remember that perfect little moment in time. And like tonight, tears will well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I reflect upon what a lucky, lucky man I am...

One of My Many Talents

I've always been good with animals -- from small rodents up to large farm animals.  But truly, I am the Cat Whisperer...

Just tonight, our cat, June, was making a fuss and being generally unpleasant by wandering around the house and meowing with her wallpaper-peeling pay attention to me noise.  As I walked by, I picked her up, securely held her legs so she could not claw or get away, placed my lips next to her ear, and lovingly whispered...

"I'm going to kill you.  Slowly and painfully..."

As I moved her away from my face, our eyes momentarily met and mine shot lasers at her.  Frickin' LASERS.  She let out a small yelp, lept from my arms, and ran to the basement.  She's been a little lamb for the rest of the evening.

(Of course, I would never hurt our cat.  Nor do I condone hurting cats.  It's humor, folks -- dark humor.  And if you didn't find it funny, please move along.)

Opening Night at Rey Azteca

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If you know me, you probably know that over the past several months, I have rather impatiently waited for the opening of Rey Azteca, a Mexican restaurant, here in State College.  Finally, it happened.  Today.  And I was there for dinner, along with the family and two of our friends who have also waited for this day with great anticipation.

I have seen absolutely NO advertising for Rey Azteca; no official announcements for their opening; no signs in the window with an opening date; and until today, I hadn't succeeded in finding their Web site (http://www.reyaztecarestaurant.com).  We knew they were opening today thanks to sleuthing, a newly discovered phone number, and a Yelp friend who managed to catch someone working there yesterday.  Nonetheless, PLENTY of people knew that today was the day, and when we arrived, the dining area was full, there were at least 50 people waiting in line before us, and more showing up every minute.  We were told our wait would be 15 to 20 minutes, and that was pretty accurate, which was surprising to me -- I'm used to those estimates being bold-faced lies that should be multiplied by 2 or 3.

I'm going to say up front that I'm fairly certain no one at Rey Azteca was expecting such a huge turnout tonight.  It was their unadvertised first night open, and while they likely knew that a good number of people in this town have been jonesing for a decent traditional Mexican restaurant, I also think  they were completely surprised by how well word-of-mouth and social media (oh, yeah - I've been tweeting about it, had it on Facebook, Yelped, and entered the location on foursquare as soon as I knew the address) worked to make the place SRO tonight.  Consequently, I'm not going to harp on the service, which was a bit slow.  However, I'm sure they'll take care of that problem, and every staff member with whom I interacted was very pleasant and accommodating.

TAKE NOTE!  REY AZTECA DOES NOT SERVE BEER OR LIQUOR.  I saw someone bring in their own 6-pack, but I don't know if they're totally cool with that.  If you must have alcohol with your Mexican food, call first and ask if they have a policy bout BYOB-ing.  And by the way, Pennsylvania's liquor laws SUCK.

So...  The food.  You're reading this because you want to know about the food, right?

Well, I'm not posting this review on Yelp because I don't think it's fair to judge a brand new restaurant on their first night of business.  That doesn't mean that I was disappointed in the food, though.  The obvious comparison here is El Campesino in Altoona (http://www.elcampesino.net).  That's been my go-to spot for good Mexican food.  And I'm going to predict right now that my days of having to drive 40 miles for my fix are over.  And not only does it have proximity working in its favor, but Rey Azteca's prices are lower than El Campesino's.  I ordered the vegetarian number 1 dinner - a cheese enchilada, a bean burrito, and a bean and cheese tostada.  That's the same lineup as the vegetarian A dinner at El Campesino (my usual order), and I ordered it, in part, to provide a fair comparison.  Despite the fact that it's a lot of food, I also made sure to order a side of rice and a side of beans (yes, I shared them) because I apparently have a hollow leg.

Rey Azteca's menu states on the cover that they serve food that is mildly seasoned.  They do not lie.  My food was flavorful, but in no way spicy.  Even the salsa was very mild.  In central PA, that's probably a good idea.  In future visits, I will have to inquire as to whether they have a spicier salsa available.  If they don't, that won't prevent me from returning, I'd just like to have a little more kick to my Mexican food.  The burrito was great, and could have been a clone of El Campesino's bean burrito - a perfect soft flour tortilla wrapped around refried beans of just the right consistency, and the whole thing thinly coated in salsa.  The tostada?  You can't really screw up a tostada, but what set this one apart was the guacamole.  As advertised on the Web site, it tastes homemade.  Good homemade, that is.  Don't freak out if you go there and your guac isn't bright green.  Freshly made guac starts changing its color quickly.  You can keep it bright green, but often at the price of mixing in more lemon juice than you really want.  This was smooth, tasty, non-lemony guac.  The enchilada was good.  It could have been better, but I could tell that its preparation had been rushed.  Again, I think this can be attributed to the unexpected turnout.  By the time our fried ice cream arrived, I was stuffed and yammering on and on about work, so I wasn't paying very close attention.  It's ice cream, whipped cream, honey, cinnamon, fried tortilla, and a cherry - like you can go wrong with that?

So, the bottom line for tonight's visit:  Good, but not as good as what I've been able to consistently get at El Campesino.  But I'm hopeful that will change, because I saw a lot of potential.  I'm going to give the folks at Rey Azteca a few days to match their staffing to the customer load, then try again.  I am also interested to hear other people's opinions over the next few days.  I'm happy that Rey Azteca is finally open, and I look forward to many more satisfying meals served up from their kitchen.  Go and give it a try!

El Campesino?  I kept telling you guys that we needed you to open a location in State College.  You may have just missed out on a golden opportunity, and I don't know that this town could support another Mexican restaurant... yet.

monkey-isms (4)

Here's a gem from dinner the other night.  And yes, we had guests over...

@PinkPeonies:  Do you need to go to the bathroom?

The Monkey:  No.

@PinkPeonies:  Then why are you grabbing your crotch?

The Monkey:  Because my vulva is CONCENTRATING.

Congress has Made Progress

I just saw this status update from one of my friends:

"Soon it will be illegal for insurance companies to discriminate against me due to my Crohn's disease. I won't have to live in fear of having any gap in health coverage, lest pre-existing conditions waivers apply to me. Dozens of life path and employment options I never considered are now, for the first time, open for me to explore. Today is a pretty good Monday."

And so, to echo President Obama and Democratic members of the House from last night, I say, "YES WE CAN."

I Think This Makes Me a Horrible Person...

I just sat and listened as my wonderful wife -- the incredible mother of our child, my partner in all things, the love of my life -- tried to walk her grandmother through getting to the Facebook page and logging on, all via a phone call.  In that one conversation, I heard so many elements of all the frustrating helpdesk phone calls I ever took.  And all I could do was sit there and laugh quietly to myself.  Some highlights...

"No, Grandma.  You're looking at your e-mail.  You want to be in a WEB BROWSER."

"That's a CAPTCHA...  No, it shouldn't be easy to read."

"No-no-no-no-no-no.  NOT YAHOO."

"That's your password.  You shouldn't share that with anyone.  Not (family member), (family member), or even (family member)."

I am a terrible, horrible person -- I know...